How are you holding up in this holiday season?
By “holding up,” I don’t mean appearing okay to those around you. I don’t mean soldiering through as though everything were normal. I never do enjoy pretending.
By “holding up,” I guess I mean – how’s your heart? How do you get yourself through the day?
In grief, we somehow survive each day as it comes, some days slightly lighter, some days monumentally heavier. Every day is a marathon, with bedtime often being the only thing to look forward to. When getting through the everyday is challenging, the addition of the holiday season just tips things over into nearly unbearable.
How are you surviving? Have you found ways to help yourself through?
Honestly, as I remember my first year, it was mostly a keep your head down, plow through, ignore as much as you can method of survival. I slept a lot. I disappeared into the snowy woods with the dog a lot. I spent a lot of time volunteering on farms, covering shifts for those who were off celebrating the holidays with their own families.If the choices were to be alone and sad, or uncomfortable around other people, I always chose alone and sad. At least it was real. Click To Tweet
I hid out as much as I could, enjoying my own company – my own deep sadness – more than any interaction with others. If the choices were to be alone and sad, or uncomfortable around other people, I always chose alone and sad. At least it was real.
Please remember that whatever you choose to do in this holiday season, staying true to yourself is important. To the best of your ability, seek out those places that companion your sadness, and avoid those places that ask you to pretend you are something other than you are. Life is too short for that.
How about you? Have you found places (or practices) that companion your sadness? What tactics are you using to extricate yourself from events or places that won’t make room for your truth? Let us know in the comments. Not only do I like to hear from you, but others in the community can use your ideas!