Theresa Reed (aka, The Tarot Lady) and I got together to talk about grieving – and the Five of Cups, identified by Theresa as “tarot’s saddest card in the deck.”
“Because you see,” Theresa says, “grief doesn’t happen in a neat little package with stages. Sometimes you never really “get over it. You can’t. And guess what: that’s okay.”
“This is the topic of a powerful new book by Megan Devine called It’s Okay That You’re Not Okay: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn’t Understand. This book offers a profound and honest look at the grieving process – and has tips, practices, and stories to help aid in healing after loss. (My favorite chapter is Rallying Your Support Team, which has the most excellent advice for helping a loved one deal with grief.)”
Q: What is the biggest misconception about grieving?
“The biggest misconception about grieving is that it’s this unfortunate, temporary thing that you’re supposed to move through quickly and put it all behind you. That single misconception leaves grieving people feeling dismissed or unsupported, and leaves support people feeling frustrated and helpless in the face of grief that “lasts too long.”
Q: What is the best, healthiest way to move through the grieving process?
Grief is just a reality. It’s not good or bad. It’s not healthy or unhealthy. It’s a reality of being alive in a world where those we love die. Click To Tweet
“What’s best and healthiest for one person isn’t what’s best and healthiest for another – and that’s the best way to think about the grieving process. I’ll always direct people back to their own sovereignty, their own capacity to decide what feels right and true to them, what feels like honoring their own pain, and their own process. That said, over-indulging in drugs, alcohol, or activities that put your body and mind at risk aren’t a good choice. Harming other people – also not a good choice. Outside of those things, listening for your own needs as grief shifts and changes (sometimes day to day, sometimes hour to hour) is a great, healthy practice.”
We’ve got a long way to go to get the entire culture up to speed on the realities of grief. Want to get involved with conversations about any and all things grief-related, and get to see videos, comics, and animations before anyone else? Patrons get the first look at everything we create AND get to vote on which topics get covered! And more! Join the Grief Revolution at patreon.com/megandevine/