Grief support that doesn't suck.

If your life has exploded into a million little bits, you don't need platitudes. You don't need cheerleading. You don't need to be told this all happened for a reason. You certainly don't need to be told that you needed your pain in order to learn something about life.

Most of what passes for grief support is less than useful.

I created Refuge in Grief to tell the truth about grief, with no sugar coating. I created it to give you support that actually sounds like you - something that speaks to your life, your mind, your heart.

I hope you find some shelter, some refuge, in what I've created here.

I made this for you.

New here?

If this is your first time to the Refuge in Grief site, welcome. I wish we didn’t need to meet here. I’d rather know you for an entirely different, completely wonderful reason. And here we are anyway.

There's lots of love & support on this site. You might dive right into the blog to get a sense of my approach to grief. Check out the about page to read some of my story. There's more information on the New Here? page.

Looking for community? Check out the Writing Your Grief courses, and be sure to join RiG on Twitter & Facebook.

You may be alone in your grief, but you don't have to carry it alone.

Writing Your Grief: join the 30 day e-course

We don’t write from grief, or write with grief, in order to understand it. We don’t write because it’s sensible, or transformative, or because we're trying to get back to “normal life.”

We write from grief, with grief, simply to listen. To hear ourselves. To lean in, and to learn. To bear witness. And sometimes, to turn the reality of our grief and our love into a life-raft for someone else.

The Writing Your Grief course is a way for you to explore, and honor, your pain. Please join our tribe of fiercely loving broken hearts.

Join the next Writing Your Grief session. We've saved a spot for you.

Everything is Not Okay: an audio book for grief

When I was first widowed, the grief book I wanted to read - needed to read - didn't exist. I don't want it to be that hard for you to find the words you most need to hear.

Everything is Not Okay is an audio book especially for the early days (and years) of grief. It's just over 90 minutes of grief support, with practical tools meant to address the stark reality of living in pain. It's still the best thing I've made for you.

Practical tools to help you stay in your heart & not lose your mind.

Order your instant download here.

some of my words, as seen on other sites

We need to develop some skillful means both to witness grief, and to live in grief. We need to learn how to support rather than to solve. We need to practice being in there with grief, rather than getting out of it. And we need to hear the distinction between the two.

When we don't see grief as a problem to be solved, but instead as an experience to be supported, loved, and witnessed -- then we can really talk about what helps. When we stand on the same ground together, our words and actions can be truly supportive and useful.

~ Megan Devine, on the Huffington Post 

Latest From The Blog

cc nishanthjois

grief & the grocery store

At just over 5 1/2 years out, my energy stores have largely come back to their pre-death status. It’s been ages since a day seemed far more insurmountable than I could handle. Every single interaction no longer drains me, as it … Continue reading