Grief support that doesn't suck.

If your life has exploded into a million little bits, you don't need platitudes. You don't need cheerleading. You don't need to be told this all happened for a reason. You certainly don't need to be told that you needed your pain in order to learn something about life.

Most of what passes for grief support is less than useful.

I created Refuge in Grief to tell the truth about grief, with no sugar coating. I created it to give you support that actually sounds like you - something that speaks to your life, your mind, your heart.

I hope you find some shelter, some refuge, in what I've created here.

I made this for you.

New here?

If this is your first time to the Refuge in Grief site, welcome. I wish we didn’t need to meet here. I’d rather know you for an entirely different, completely wonderful reason. And here we are anyway.

There's lots of love & support on this site. You might dive right into the blog to get a sense of my approach to grief. Check out the about page to read some of my story. There's more information on the New Here? page.

Looking for community? Check out the Writing Your Grief courses, and be sure to join RiG on Twitter & Facebook.

You may be alone in your grief, but you don't have to carry it alone.

Writing Your Grief: join the 30 day e-course

We don’t write from grief, or write with grief, in order to understand it. We don’t write because it’s sensible, or transformative, or because we're trying to get back to “normal life.”

We write from grief, with grief, simply to listen. To hear ourselves. To lean in, and to learn. To bear witness. And sometimes, to turn the reality of our grief and our love into a life-raft for someone else.

The Writing Your Grief course is a way for you to explore, and honor, your pain. Please join our tribe of fiercely loving broken hearts.

Join the next Writing Your Grief session. We've saved a spot for you.

Everything is Not Okay: an audio book for grief

When I was first widowed, the grief book I wanted to read - needed to read - didn't exist. I don't want it to be that hard for you to find the words you most need to hear.

Everything is Not Okay is an audio book especially for the early days (and years) of grief. It's just over 90 minutes of grief support, with practical tools meant to address the stark reality of living in pain. It's still the best thing I've made for you.

Practical tools to help you stay in your heart & not lose your mind.

Order your instant download here.

some of my words, as seen on other sites

Many people, even professional psychologists, believe there is a right way and a wrong way to grieve, that there is an orderly and predictable pattern that everyone will go through, and if you don't progress correctly, you are failing at grief. You must move through these stages completely, or you will never heal.

This is a lie.

~ Megan Devine, on the Huffington Post 

Latest From The Blog


I never used to be so angry…

Writing without the deeply personal is not the whole story of grief. Especially as I move away from my own early days of grief, it’s important to link back to the person I was back then. I don’t want to … Continue reading

cc Emma Dermott

grief dreams of far off blooms

Writing without the deeply personal is not the whole story of grief. To give the whole story, to give as many handholds as possible in the steep climb of grief, we need to hear personal stories. It’s in these stories that … Continue reading